<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Stay ||  iwaoi by unskillful</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990281">Stay ||  iwaoi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unskillful/pseuds/unskillful'>unskillful</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Character Death, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, iwaoi - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:42:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unskillful/pseuds/unskillful</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>❝   𝗶𝘄𝗮-𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻, 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿?   ❞  it’s always a hindrance to forget things , but forgetting everything you ever knew? well it was shattering;  exhausting .  </p><p>© I don't own the characters nor do I own haikyuu,  just making this for fun.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. empty shell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>❝    YOU'RE WONDERFUL, IWA.     ❞     .</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>the gentle caress iwaizumi's fingers threaded through brown hair lazily , his eyes stared down at the sleeping figure resting against his chest; left hand entwined with oikawa's firmly , as if he'd slip away by letting go.   ❛ oikawa.   ❜  his gruff voice stirred the brunette awake from the light sleep, watching chocolate eyes flutter open with a yawn. ❛ oi . I need to go home, it's late. ❜ he grunted , letting go of the taller much to his dismay .</em>
</p><p>
  <em>sitting up, oikawa watched as his boyfriend slumped his way off the bed , pulling on his jacket . ❛ but iwa-chan, why can't you stay tonight? ❜  he whined , pulling on the other's sleeve from where he sat ; earning a disapproving look from iwaizumi almost immediately .  no words had to be exchanged for oikawa to get the message.  sighing, the brunette stood up to press a quick kiss to the other's forehead . </em>
</p><p>
  <em>flopping himself back down onto the bed, oikawa waved goodbye to iwaizumi with little care as the spiky haired male left the room .  after all, he'd see him tomorrow , wouldn't he?</em>
</p><p><br/>　❝   SO PLEASE, JUST STAY.   ❞  </p><p>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p><p>his heart raced within his chest, brown eyes clouded with anxiety as he followed after the doctor. he swallowed the lump in his throat, hands gripping onto the plastic bag tightly. he's visited how many times now? and yet . . . he was still nervous whenever he met eyes with him .</p><p>stopping in front of the doors , oikawa took a sharp breath before slowly reaching for the door handle ; pushing open the door with a hesitant hand . forcing a bright smile to his face, the brunette raised the bag he brought with a tilt to his head . ❛ Iwa-Chan~! ❜ he sang , walking into the room further as the ravenette's head turned towards him .</p><p>the heart monitor filled the brief moment of silence , the sun lighting the room and the tubes connected to iwaizumi's body . ❛ I brought you something ! ❜ oikawa continued , pulling up a chair next to the silent other's bed . ❛ look ! ❜ he delved his hand into the bag, taking out a little gorilla plush. his bright smile dropped to a more somber one at the toy in his hands .</p><p>❛ iwa-chan, do you remember ? ❜ he began , searching the other's dazed expression for any kind of reaction as he placed the object within iwaizumi's hands . ❛ I got it for you as a joke birthday present , remember that? ❜ he asked , obnoxious voice flooded with saddened nostalgia . his somber eyes widened as hajime's auburn eyes trailed down to the gorilla in his hands , arms pulling it closer to his stomach slightly .</p><p>even if it was such a trivial action , oikawa's heart couldn't help but burst at the small movements ; dropping his hands onto iwaizumi's , chocolate eyes brimmed with tears . ❛ you said you hated it, but you still kept it , remember ? ❜ he pushed on, voice wavered with unrecognisable emotions . he couldn't believe it , maybe he was just going crazy, but he was certain that the tiny action iwaizumi made was him remembering - even just the faintest memory .</p><p>❛ you're face when I found out you kept it - do you remember what I said? ❜ he continued , only to be met with a small shake of iwaizumi's head. his heart sank, smile wavering every so slightly . ❛ never mind, it's probably going to stress you if I keep pressuring you with memories , huh? ❜ he laughed it off , as if iwaizumi responded to anything he said.</p><p>it was like he was talking to a different person entirely, and it broke his heart . he didn’t want the empty shell of someone he loved . he didn’t just want to see his face . he didn’t want to be clueless on how to act around him. </p><p>he wanted <em>his</em> iwaizumi back.<br/>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p><p> </p><p>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯<br/>❛ iwa-chan~! ❜ his cheery voice called out once again, a small cardboard box in his left hand as he shut the hospital door behind him. ❛ I brought you your favourite ~! you've been mumbling about it , haven't you? ❜ he asked , pulling up his chair besides the silent ravenette as usual.</p><p>❛ agedashi tofu, it was your favourite! ❜ he continued , opening the box and setting it on the little table over the bandaged male's form . ❛ it's been a few months since you woke up, hasn't it ? ❜ he chatted away , watching iwaizumi eat the desired food. relief flooded his chest at the sight of the ravenette finally eating. it had been so long since he willingly ate, having to be fed through tubes at times when the ravnette flat out refused .</p><p>iwaizumi placed down the chopsticks with a bit more force than intended , snapping oikawa out of his thoughts with a worried expression. ❛ iwa-chan! is something wrong? ❜ he asked , moving the mini table aside and taking iwaizumi's hands into his own . shocked , hajime snatched his hands away almost immediately , eyes narrowed in confusion.</p><p>a stinging pain shot through oikawa . reluctantly, he sat back in his chair , placing his hands down on his lap in a dejected manner . ❛ that must have scared you , huh? ❜ he awkwardly chuckled , standing up from his chair and cautiously sitting down next to the tense male.   ❛  I'm sorry about that iwa-chan.  ❜ he apologised , slowly lifting his hand to run through the surprisingly soft tresses of hajime's. </p><p>no more words fell from oikawa's lips after that. they sat in silence ,  iwaizumi staring at the brunette with an almost wary gaze  .  he knew a stranger would visit him practically every day, but every time he tried to recall their face it would fuzz in his head. yet this brunette sat next to him , simply patting his head, it felt as though he was more than just the stranger. </p><p>oikawa stood up after a while , seeing iwaizumi's expression hadn't changed.  he stretched,  picking up the gorilla toy that had been knocked on the floor ; handing it back to iwaizumi .  ❛  iwa-chan... wanna know a secret? ❜ he asked ,  placing a finger to the forced grin on his lips. he hesitated at first, wondering if he should spring his thoughts onto iwaizumi so suddenly . but .. he felt as if he needed to. he couldn’t keep everything bottled up , even if it seemed he was just muttering about nonsense, he didn’t care .   ❛  I really miss you. ❜   he hummed . ❛ even if you called me mean names like shittykawa,  or when you'd. hit me every time I messed around —  iwa-chan , you were the one I wanted most to stay the same .   ❜</p><p>listening to oikawa's tearful rambles confused iwaizumi .  why didn't he remember it? was this guy lying? but .. he seemed to genuine with his quivering words .   he rose an eyebrow, tilting his head at the name called out by the brunette .  ❛  shittykawa?  ❜  he repeated, voice hoarse from its lack of use . he watched as oikawa's eyes widened , pooling over with tears at the bad nickname .</p><p>❛ y-yeah..shittykawa. you were so cruel - ❜ oikawa mused , sitting by iwaizumi once more , shoulders tensing at the sound of iwaizumi. never did he think he’d miss his voice so much, even if it was faint . ❛ if I ever said that before all this then you would probably have bullied me for it , y'know? ❜ his shaking words were accompanied by the tears gliding down his cheeks, hands immediately moving to wipe away his tears . he knew his words were more of an exaggerated assumption, but he hoped to find a little bit of his iwa in the hollow shell sat on the bed.</p><p>❛ But ,anyway, .. you finally spoke, iwa-chan ! look at you ! you're progressing so well , ❜ he praised , trying to distract himself from the pain in his heart . ❛    how mean that it was shittykawa instead of oikawa though ..  you pick such awful things to say even when you don't remember -  ❜  trying to make light of his feelings ,  the brunette pinched his lover's<br/>nose gently with a small shake of his head .  </p><p>letting go,  tooru stood up for the finally time with a sigh as he picked up the empty box that once carried the tofu .  ❛   well as fun as this was , I can't stay long today —  I'll visit again so don't worry too much, okay?  ❜ making his way over to the door ,  oikawa threw up a small peace sign .  ❛    Bye-Bye , iwa-chan~!   ❜  he sung ,  walking out of the room as usual.  </p><p>the room , once again , was flushed with the sound of the heart monitor beside iwaizumi.  he took the little plush back into his hands,  staring down at it in puzzlement before holding the toy close to his chest. sinking into his bed , iwaizumi stared up at the ceiling , a name sat at the tip of his tongue .<br/>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. empty bed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>❝ 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲. 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲. ❞  sometimes life will give the illusion of hope , before it all comes crashing down . and sometimes, ..sometimes promises are broken . </p><p>⚠️ ::   Implied Character death, but it’s actually an open end</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Christmas had always been the worst time for strolls . it was cold and dark, nothing good ever came out of those things . yet , oikawa had always managed to drag iwaizumi on " romantic " walks. every Christmas Eve they'd stroll around aimlessly together , wrapped snug in scarfs and coats , hand in hand while they spoke about anything they wanted - half the time it would be their usual banter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but today was different. today was different as iwaizumi halted them both , pushing a ring onto oikawa's finger with a flushed face . ❛   next time , ❜ he began , staring at the taken aback expression on oikawa's face . For once the brunette was speechless . ❛ next time it'll be an engagement ring. ❜ he stated , quickly caught up by a kiss from his boyfriend.</em>
</p><p><em>❛ Iwaaa~ you're not just cruel after all ! ❜ oikawa cooed , nuzzling his head against iwaizumi's only to be pushed away by the flustered ravenette. through their playful bickering , the two grasped onto each other's hands tighter , walking back to oikawa's house just a little closer together this time around .</em><br/>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p><p>winter had arrived, the cold wind teasing oikawa's face to a light pink. his hands firmly gripped the handles on the wheelchair , pushing along the ravenette with a hum. finally, iwaizumi could leave that awful room he was cooped up in .   oikawa's smile grew wider watching the other snuggle into his old coat . </p><p>❛  iwa, you're not too cold, are you?  ❜ he asked , pulling to a stop by a bench. taking off his scarf , oikawa slipped it around iwaizumi's neck carefully , kneeling in front of the ravenette with a smile , hands placed on the other's knees . ❛ Awh, iwa-chan doesn't really pull off scarfs well, but it's fine ~! ❜ he teased , watching the other's expression twitch downwards a little in disapproval.</p><p>he waved his hand dismissively with a laugh, shaking his head carelessly , ❛ I'm kidding , I'm kidding — don't take me so seriously iwa-chan ~ ❜ he cooed , sighing once the other relaxed again. sitting himself down on the bench besides iwaizumi , oikawa grazed his fingers over the ring snug on his finger .</p><p>of course , the small object caught iwaizui's attention, his gaze immediately snatched by the object . he continued to stare at it , the object bringing a familiar thought to his head . ❛ ..did I give you that? ❜ he asked , pointing at the jewellery . he couldn't shake off the vague feeling of familiarity, no matter how hard he tried.</p><p>oikawa's eyes shot up from the ring , a taken aback expression dancing onto his solemn face .  ❛   you..- you remember giving me this?   ❜  he responded,  disbelief in his tone while a bittersweet smile took over his curled down lips at the lack of response.  ❛  yes .. you did give me this — it's a promise ring ,   ❜ he started ,  a soft huff of amused air pushing past in a sigh after ; his thumb grazing over the jewellery piece . </p><p>❛   it was Christmas Eve when you gave me it.  and then a month later you..  ❜  he  didn't finish his sentence ,  quickly moving to wipe the forming tears from his eyes .   ❛   Actuallyyy, that's a really depressing topic - let's talk about something else, okay?  ❜    his attempt to divert the conversation was completely looked over by iwaizumi , who had taken oikawa's hand into his own . </p><p>a look of guilt had crossed the amnesiac's face ,  eyes glued to oikawa's watery ones.  ❛   I'm sorry.  ❜ he apologised,   ❛   I..don't remember you . I don't remember our friends. I don't remember us. I -   ❜ he paused in his apology ,  squeezing the taller's hand tighter as he brought it up to his face ; resting his forehead against it .   ❛   I'm sorry,  oikawa.  ❜ </p><p>why was he feeling so guilty about this? it wasn't his fault , so why was his heart sinking to the pits of his stomach in shame ?  ..he felt he needed to apologise for forgetting . he really wanted to remember what oikawa spoke about ; he wanted to feel the same feelings they felt ; he wanted to remember what kind of person he was ; he wanted to remember what kind of relationship they had .  but he couldn't .  He couldn't and it pained him.</p><p>oikawa brought his free hand to rest over iwaizumi's cheek, leaning his head against their hands with a smile as salty tears dripped down his cold-tinged cheeks .   ❛   Iwa-chan, don't make me be the responsible one all the time,  ❜ he laughed gently ,  ❛   it's not your fault , and I know you know that.  ❜ he reassured ,  lightly stroking his thumb over the watery corners of iwaizumi's eyes . he lifted his head, tilting it to the side with a piteous grin.  </p><p>his heart tightened at the hand caressing his cheek,  those tears that had pooled in his own eyes slowly escaping down onto oikawa's hand. he inhaled sharply , shutting his eyes tight as he listened to the brunette's painful words. ❛ Next time , ❜ he cut the other off , opening his eyes with a determined shine to them . he gripped harder onto the other's hand, lip quivering as he held back his sobs . ❛ next time you visit , I promise I'll remember you . ❜</p><p>❛ iwaizumi , ❜ oikawa called , sniffling softly as he finally calmed from his own crying. ❛ don't worry about remembering anything . ❜ he stated , and though he meant it , it seemed forced from his lips . he swallowed the lump in his throat , ❛ just promise me you'll stay this time . no more accidents , no more comas. okay? ❜</p><p>❛ ..I promise. ❜</p><p>❛ now let's go back inside, it's cold . ❜<br/>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p><p> </p><p>⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p><p>he felt guilty . so guilty it was eating away at his brain . disappearing for half a month after having iwaizumi promise to stay.  how could he do such a thing? it was so cruel of him. he felt awful about it . but he couldn't really help it , he had been dragged away for a holiday celebration with his family. it wasn't his fault . would iwaizumi forgive him? he hoped so. he couldn't bare the thought of iwaizumi being mad at him for real , it tugged at his heart an unhealthy amount .</p><p>holding the small box tight in his hand , oikawa waltzed through the hospital as usual - it had been routine now . he would come during the acceptable visiting hours almost daily , say hello to the nurses and then head straight to iwaizumi's room to talk and spend time with him. he didn't think a week would do too much damage , you know?</p><p>room 104 . oikawa read over the label , dread starting to cruel up his back . the room was silent from what he could hear . the heart monitor wasn't beeping as usual , but maybe he was just imagining things . shaking off the feeling oikawa opened the door , pulling a smile to his face as per usual . ❛ Iwa-chan - ❜ he called , shutting the door behind him.</p><p>there was no response .</p><p>his heart seemed to drop at the sight of an empty room, eyes widening as panic flushed through his head. his head snapped to look around , hoping iwaizumi was simply hiding somewhere. he stopped when his eyes caught sight of the grey scarf neatly folded on the bed , a little gorilla plush sat atop of it . everything seemed stop at the sight of the two objects. everything froze ; his breathing hitched ; his heart stopped ; his body tensed.</p><p>and his world began to fall apart .</p><p>despair started to flush his mind , a smile of disbelief to his lips . ❛ Iwa..- ❜ he muttered , hands trembling as he scooped up the little toy. his eyes clouded with tears for what seemed like the hundredth time , a sharp pain ringing through his thumping heart . slowly, he brought the small toy to his chest, dropping down to his knees .</p><p>❛ iwa .. ❜ he could feel his voice crack , his stifled sobs echoing off the walls in the empty room . his stomach churned with varying emotions , head throbbing with so many questions. ❛ you promised .. ❜ he muttered , jaw clenching with the harsh rise and fall of his chest .</p><p>he couldn’t believe it . it’s happened again. he’s lost iwaizumi again. after how hard he tried to get his iwa back ; after how many tears he shed , how many sleepless nights he suffered .. he’d lost iwaizumi all over again. but this time ..</p><p>this time he wouldn’t be able to get him back .</p><p>the urge to scream bubbled in oikawa’s throat, his teeth gritting together , saliva mixing with the heartbroken tears cascading down his face. ❛ YOU PROMISED YOU’D STAY, DAMMIT, ❜ he cursed , hand swinging out to hit the mattress of the empty bed . his eyes fell on the grey scarf sliding down onto his lap , that frustration melting away into grief .</p><p>he hunched over , uncaring for the pattering feet making their way towards the room. he started to sob, sharp breathes stinging his throat as he clutched onto the two objects in his hands . ❛ you promised you’d stay .. ❜ he wept , all those months of guilty crashing down on him like a wave .</p><p>was iwaizumi in pain the whole time? was oikawa only adding to that suffering? why didn’t he say? why did he leave for two weeks without saying goodbye? why didn’t anyone reach out to him? was iwaizumi all alone when he died?</p><p>he couldn’t bare it . he couldn’t bare the room , he couldn’t bare his thoughts . he had to leave . he needed to leave. it was his fault. his fault and he didn’t even say goodbye .</p><p>
  <em>if only he wasn’t so careless .</em>
</p><p>it was his fault . that’s all he could think about . it was his fault.</p><p><em> if only he paid attention</em>.</p><p>he stood up quickly , clumsily holding onto the three objects .</p><p>
  <em>if only he had thought about iwaizumi more .</em>
</p><p>he turned to the door , rushing past with his mind set on the exit.</p><p>
  <em>if only he had been stubborn . </em>
</p><p>he didn’t even notice the small box slipping from his grasp, clattering to the floor .</p><p>
  <em>if only he had opened his eyes..</em>
</p><p>❛ ..oikawa? ❜</p><p>if only he had stayed . ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading !! I hope you enjoyed the story 👉🏻👈🏻</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>